Video Feature on Hair Specialist

i just finished this today. it is a video feature on a local hair stylist. this is my first experience trying to use a look. i used feathered edges to create a sexy intimate look. i also did a lot of color correcting to it because one angle was shot with a consumer cam and the other with pro gear.

i would love to here from derek, joe, shane, jude, johan, mike h, and crazy wayne on this. there are elements in it that each one of these people seem to have an acute specialty in.
everyone is welcome to comment and encouraged to do so.

the 3 questions i am asking are:

1. how are the graphics?
2. how was the story?
3. how could it be better?

TAKE A LOOK

""" What you do with what you have, is more important than what you could do, with what you don't have."

> > > Knowledge + Action = Wisdom - J. Corbett 1992 """"

Since you asked...and I'm gonna be honest...

...I can't read the text on the left side 90% of the time (I might have flipped the footage horizontally / made "hair design" text white / created a background treatment behind the text to make it "pop".
...logo should have been stripped from that black box & made to "pop" as well (doesn't "pop" at all). The border / drop shadow seems transparent...don't know why.
...the spiral wipes / transitions...kill 'em. Destroy 'em. Bury 'em. They turn decent footage into instant velveeta. That, and it's used way too many times.
...crossover transitions need to be cleaned up
...keyframed animations slam in & out...needs finesse (easy ease).
...pics just pop on & sit there...needs movement.
...audio (VO) is slamming (clipping / distorted) bigtime
...I would have went with more of a "modeling runway" music track
...I would cut to more pics / footage while he's talking...waaaaay too much talking head.
...it's at least a minute too long

A "salon" or "stylist" piece should be all about STYLE. This piece needs style...too much cheese. Graphics should be fluid / moving / liquid / flowing / never seem to stop. The logo is a company's calling card. There is no effort to make Mario's logo "sing". I think I have made mention of spicing up your grafix in past threads & you have mentioned in past threads that your clients don't like to spend any money so I won't waste your time explaining about the labor-intensive way to make your stills into 3D in AE / Motion & Photoshop (which is what I would do). There's a tut on the site that should help you (I don't know it off hand but someone will jump in with the link).

My 2¢...

Joey

When life gives you dilemmas...make dilemmanade.

...crossover transitions need to be cleaned up

some of the crossD's are 2 vtrks. and i did have a time getting them that far due to the heavily feathered edges. the phony 16:9 was created by vector shape. i wanted to be a little deeper that standard 16:9.


...audio (VO) is slamming (clipping / distorted) bigtime

you got it, that audio was far worse than that and i did all i could to it in fcp to fix it. it was recorded with the lav set to +12 and i didnt catch it.


...it's at least a minute too long

i agree i have been working on condensing my features more. he paid for a 3 1/2min feature.


clients don't like to spend any money so I won't waste your time explaining about the labor-intensive way to make your stills into 3D in AE / Motion & Photoshop (which is what I would do).

i am getting motion3 soon. AE and photoshop scares me but i hope to get over that with my next class. i have been teetering with photoshop but my skill is quite elementary.


..the spiral wipes / transitions...kill 'em. Destroy 'em. Bury 'em. They turn decent footage into instant velveeta.

here was a style choice. i am so bored with the crossD so i look to try different ones.


...keyframed animations slam in & out...needs finesse (easy ease).

can you give me an example for the video? i know that the key-framing is really basic after the front logo.
if this is what you are talking about what frame of mind should i be in when i go back to fix it based on these suggestions.

""" What you do with what you have, is more important than what you could do, with what you don't have."

> > > Knowledge + Action = Wisdom - J. Corbett 1992 """"

Joe covered most of the visual front. From a content perspective, I'd take out a lot of the interview as well. The stylist is reeeeaaally boring to listen to, obviously self-conscious. By sticking him front and center, and for so long, you're also forcing us to endure a lot of the blown-out audio. Interviews are an overused promo device anyway. Not all of them are interesting to watch, unless the interviewee has a great presence or voice skills, which this guy doesn't. His accent and obvious discomfort in front of the camera immediately starts your piece off on a weak footing. The "story" isn't the guy's background in Turkey. It's his work. Gotta glitz it up -- a lot of the "models" in front of the camera didn't look very attractively presented.

Why not have the guy re-record the substance of the interview and use it as offscreen voice-over instead? That way you don't have to show his face at all, and he can do as many takes as he likes to get the dialogue tighter. Plus, you can also edit the sound...and most importantly, record it right this time. Was anybody listening through headphones when you were recording?

If your client insists on keeping the interview, at least cut it better. That "spiral" thing cuts right into his interview and is not well motivated.

Fix the stills near the end, as well. The rhythm is way off. Stop trying to let your music dictate your cuts, and stop slavishly marking down those beats on your audio clip. Get the general groove of the music and create a visual rhythm according to how long we need to look at each shot, not according to where those one and three beats are.

> i am so bored with the crossD so i look to try different ones.

There's a reason why certain transitions -- wipe, oval iris, cross dissolve -- last. Most transitions in an editing application are just there as filler. You can never go wrong with the classic narrative film techniques. This "spiral" screams "video neophyte". You're better off just using well-timed cuts. If you choose the right shots, you will create energy. Remember, audiences aren't watching cuts and transitions; they're watching content, rhythm and imagery.


www.derekmok.com

Here's another perspective.

Consider the marketing strategy first. The client is not a celebrity hairdresser - he would not be doing Kate Moss's hair too frequently. HIs value proposition seems to be that he offering a lot of expertise, presumably for not a lot of money. He probably knows his market segment. So, telling the prospects about his background has probably worked as a marketing devicet - he's international. He is likely to have found that describing how he does things has been a good selling and upselling point.

He is not selling a dream. Rather, he seems to want to demonstrate the features and benefits of his work. It's a standard strategy, and I don't see a problem there. But he needs to have a better disciplined and shorter script - 60 seconds max. Most of all the video needs to reflect the points he is making about color and so on. Very short comparative clips with different skins etc. could do that.

I agree you should show less of the client, but I would not eliminate him. With personal services, people like to see who they are dealing with. Again, I am sure he knows this.

I agree with the technical points others have made. Given the factual character of features and benefits, it would be worth experimenting with simple hard cuts. The problem with the audio IMHO is not the accent, but the bad clipping - it's really bad. The girls could do with better make-up jobs. Advice from a local still photographer might help you there.

Baz

Quote

..the spiral wipes / transitions...kill 'em. Destroy 'em. Bury 'em. They turn decent footage into instant velveeta.


here was a style choice. i am so bored with the crossD so i look to try different ones.

Wrong choice, IMHO. Just because your bored with cross dissolves (which I wouldn't use either) doesn't mean you should "try" something that looks visually worse just because it's different. There is no "style" added by spiral wipes and I challenge anyone to disagree with that & explain why.

Also just because the client "liked the logo" doesn't mean you should turn it in that way. Most clients don't know anything about production / post production. Instead of the client "liking" the logo...you need to make him "LOOOOOVE THE LOGO". Currently it's not a good representation of his business. Neither is the bad audio & other technical aspects that should be fixed before airing.

Quote

...audio (VO) is slamming (clipping / distorted) bigtime


you got it, that audio was far worse than that and i did all i could to it in fcp to fix it. it was recorded with the lav set to +12 and i didnt catch it.

You didn't catch it while shooting? Don't you check levels / wear headphones especially when recording something so crucial as the client's VO? Should have used Soundtrack Pro to clean it up instead of FCP.

J. Corbett,

I am just trying to help you see things from a different POV. You seem to have an answer for all crits...so why even ask:

1. how are the graphics?
2. how was the story?
3. how could it be better?

You really should "try" to apply constructive criticism instead of justifying that what you have done...is all you can do with what you have. Those are just lame excuses.

"Try not. DO...or DO NOT. There is no Try".

Joey

When life gives you dilemmas...make dilemmanade.

re recording the audio is not possible. i just have to fix it better which wont be much better. the transitions i will change to hard cuts or wipes. although i have seen the infamous spiral wipe on style tv.

You really should "try" to apply constructive criticism instead of justifying that what you have done...is all you can do with what you have. Those are just lame excuses.

i was just giving you my thinking on it so that you could see why i did it that way. then i read your response a in hopes to understand why my decision was wrong.

what should i do with his logo as an alternative?

With personal services, people like to see who they are dealing with

his words exactly. he also said that he wanted it done in a way where people really get to know him as a person. he asked that i show what he does but concentrate on showing him as a person. he also feels that his accent makes southern people feel as if they have a world renowned stylist. lol
i am gonna cut back on some of the interview/ talking-head.

he would not be doing Kate Moss's hair too frequently.

actually, he does tom glaven and his wife's hair. he does contesa brewers hair, and john smoltz wife and kids hair. not exactly rock stars but definitely celebs.

Gotta glitz it up -- a lot of the "models" in front of the camera didn't look very attractively presented.

i had professional models lined up but when he realized that he would have to pay them he said that he would find his own. only 1 of them really looked the part.
i composed the music so that shane, mok and joe would give me the copy-write speech again ouch. you should know they are relentless about it.
i didn't really try to cut based on the beat in fact i was trying to be off until the pics came and yes i cut to 2 different patterns/ instruments.


all of this is really good and in my rework i will incorporate these points. i will also post the rework for critique. keep the suggestions coming. i still have 1 week till final delivery.

""" What you do with what you have, is more important than what you could do, with what you don't have."

> > > Knowledge + Action = Wisdom - J. Corbett 1992 """"

have you rolled out one of these "creek city" dvds yet? i still havent sent you my laundry list of critiques. but the primary one is all this stuff is WAY tooooo LONG! nobody is gonna give a crap enough to watch 3 to 5 or more minutes of footage about a retail service - especially if its really just one person talking and a buncha b-roll cutaways...

i think once the novelty wears off, you may have a hard time selling this.

my two core philosophies when it comes to ad/marketing work.
1. the piece has ONE job - it must SELL PRODUCT. anything beyond that is just art
2. ALWAYS leave them wanting MORE - know when to leave a room.

TOO LONG...I'll echo that. I was VERY bored after less than one minute in. Sorry man. Just gotta spice it up...the guy is boring...I have that issue all the time. Passionate people, boring interviews.

BOTH camera angles were the same Medium CU, only different angles. Not much you can do about that now (except push one in, make it B&W and really film grain it).

You are supposed to pull out the "uhs" and "uhms" so the people don't sound indecisive. THAT would help the boring part. There are so many things you can cut out to make this better. I don't care about a lot of what he says. Where he is from, where he goes to find style, maybe. But I didn't finish watching so...just trim..

...that spiral wipe was getting on my nerves...I mean in a BIG way. Traditional cuts back and forth are best. And when you change topics, maybe a transition there...or cut to some action, then back for the other topic. But the back and forth with the spiral wipe...sorry...yuck.

MORE B-ROLL! Less on the face...gimme B-Roll baby. You are supposed to show the subject talking just to show us he is talking, then cut away and fill in what he says with b-roll of him working. Don't save it all for later...use it from the beginning. And shoot a LOT of B-roll...never have too much.

Just wanted to say that if this was a promo DVD, I'd turn it off after 1 minute.

DOn't mean to be harsh...take this to heart. It is all meant to be useful.


www.shanerosseditor.com

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the one that wayne has was released in june. 7500 copies.

most people really loved it and it did increase my business. this issue has about 32 clients. i am the only one really pushing to make it better. i want to at least be 30% better this time. technically i should have been better and wayne will attest to that. however the biggest thing was that i am well know in the area and people understood that it will only get better.
out of about 450 comments/200 emails/ and visiting all that participated to get their feed back i only found about 25 people with anything negative to say.

gonna give a crap enough to watch 3 to 5 or more minutes of footage about a retail service

i try to give each business a different feel. this is my 7th beauty salon this year. one i did like a runway show, another concentrated on skin reaction to make up lots of b4 and afters. the one you saw in the 4 chic section was done as an all day make over. its a small area like 10 sq miles. everyone wants to look different.
but in 2 previous episodes they really anticipate it around here. they are too long on that episode but thats why i am here posting and tweaking by comment.


shane

(except push one in, make it B&W and really film grain it).

wow power idea. i would have never thought of that but that along with flipping the 2 angle is definitely happening.
push one in - i think this means to make the shoot look further away. am i correct?

traditional cuts back and forth are best

meaning no trans at all.

i have thought about this. at the risk of joe stabbing me in the neck with a rusty screw driver, i will say that of the 11 people ( 5 male 6 fem ) i have shown this to, mostly men had a problem with this twist trans. i am taking them out anyway.

my question here is if all we use is 3 or 4 type transitions then what would be uses of the other ones. they do keep making them don't they? (even nattress) i have seen some odd ones popping up on tv lately. they use them a lot more sparingly than i did here but there must be a place to use them.

MORE B-ROLL! Less on the face...gimme B-Roll baby.

i agree this will happen. i am also trying to figure out how i can take at least 45s -1m off.

""" What you do with what you have, is more important than what you could do, with what you don't have."

> > > Knowledge + Action = Wisdom - J. Corbett 1992 """"

Ok i did not remove every twist and twirl but i did use them a lot less. My client has always liked the music so i did not change that.

From Joe, i took the advice on the logo font being white. Also, i could not find what to do with the 3 pix that come up when he is talking about color. I did try to give them a crawl but it looked odd. I thought about some type of custom fly in but i thought it would be way to over the top.

From ShaNe and Mok, i took the advice on more b-rool though i didn't remove the talking head all together. ( b-roll was limited shots started looking repeated )

From Shane, I took the idea of flipping and push/pull shots to create different type angles. I also changed the look with a soft focus. although on web review i need to switch about 3 of those.

From Mok, I changed the name card font to a script but it may not be the best script font for it.

Here is the REMIX

""" What you do with what you have, is more important than what you could do, with what you don't have."

> > > Knowledge + Action = Wisdom - J. Corbett 1992 """"

The new script font looks a bit better, but it's still got a generic feel because, well, it's one of the standard fonts, Brush Script. Script fonts are hard to use, so you might want to get him to sign his name if you still want to explore this idea. Or go with something simple and elegant like Impact and embellish with other elements. Just playing around:



Even your original font (Myriad?) could probably be made to work. The problem was that the tracking was too wide, so it looked unwieldy and awkward rather than tight and focused.

Take out all the dead air from his interview. You have no promo until you do. It's not peripheral to the piece; you're starting off with it, and having that part remain weak for so long means you'll always start off on the wrong foot for the viewer. In a piece like this, the first five seconds will determine how the viewer interprets the rest of the piece. With such a weak interview, you're just begging the viewer to watch the rest of the piece with criticism in mind. Open strong, not with blown-out audio and a guy yapping with a super-heavy accent, with seconds of dead air between his sentences. Cut it like a radio play first so that the interview really gallops, then figure out what to put in as visuals. Interview segments are ears first, eyes second.

Four minutes!? Try aiming for 60-90 seconds. You've got a lot of fat in there right now. When I (and Shane, I'm guessing) suggested "more B-roll", we meant use it to tighten the interview and heighten the pacing, not blow the piece out to four minutes.

You're still letting the music trample all over your visual rhythm. Most of your shots (and especially effects and logos) are staying about 30 per cent longer than they should; you're being too patient with your shots.

Take the music out of the edit for now, or disable it (CONTROL-B). Now look at your piece. Does the visual rhythm pop? If not, then edit it without music and make sure the visuals have their own rhythm and move forward well. Now re-engage the music. You're getting trapped in a very common problem, which is letting the music dictate the rhythm, rather than the much more effective approach of letting the visual rhythm determine what music you need.

Just take the damn thing out for now. Any music with a beat will have many polyrhythms (eighths, 16ths) within even a simple, languorous 4/4 techno beat like this. Cut your visuals according to how their own rhythms are, and the music will find its own sync points.


www.derekmok.com

GOD! its sooooo SLoWWWWWWWWWW.........

yeah, yeah, yeah - this cat isnt saying ANYTHING interesting. and the color treatment to the shot is way too self-conscious. and the VO quality is all jacked up, yet the music sounds okay (but VERY poor choice - which is a BIG part of teh overall problem) - whats with that? and there are several repeated shots without much noticeable progress in the scene...

i think one of your problems is that youre trying to lengthen content to fill your deliverable - and stretching out a nice 2 min piece to 4 min for that reason isnt an answer. if there isnt enough of a market. change your format or widen the market...

I will go in and see what i can do with these suggestions. I like the idea of edit without music.
the only thing about the length is that he paid for a 3 min feature, so it gotta be at least 2:45:00.
Currently it tis 3:40:00.

""" What you do with what you have, is more important than what you could do, with what you don't have."

> > > Knowledge + Action = Wisdom - J. Corbett 1992 """"

> I will go in and see what i can do with these suggestions. I like the idea of edit without music.
> the only thing about the length is that he paid for a 3 min feature, so it gotta be at least
> 2:45:00. Currently it tis 3:40:00.

Yeah. The problem is, you're currently giving him a lax, fatty 60-second spot, not a true three-minute spot. If it's not real content, then it's just like an assembly cut, or an indulgent "director's cut". It shouldn't be hard to convince the client that if you have a tight 60 seconds, it'll show everybody (filmmakers, client himself, models) in a better light than a boring three-minute thing that leaves the viewer pissed and critical.

Really hammer those interviews. Might even want to leave the current cut for a bit and just cut the interviews as if you were a documentary filmmaker. Where's the meat? How do you make what he says tight, informative and engaging? In other words, where's the story?


www.derekmok.com

for those of you who didnt get corbett's dvd in the mail - he's producing a sort of "news magazine" show/DVD centered on what im assuming is a newly chartered retail/residence development.

so it appears that each retailer buys a specific amount of space on the show and he's gotta fill that up... regardless of how asshead they come across on camera (welcome to the biz!)

the content, as we've seen (and read) could use a reasonable degree of tuning, but as a dvd deliverable on the whole, to joe-beercan consumer its not half bad. ive seen a LOT of folks trying the same thing and doing FAR worse jobs : )

J....MUCH BETTER. I have to say that now it is MUCH better. The twirl transitions are used appropriately, and they fit the piece perfectly. Nice tinting...very good b-roll. Him laughing and styling was a great shot. Over all, much better.

Yeah, there are gaps in his interview that would be best if you can remove and tighten, too much stumbling. This is why you see a LOT of b-roll on many shows. we do a lot of pull ups when it comes to interviews.

But I am impressed...very good second pass. Took our suggestions to heart and made it better. That is the sign of a good editor.

(I have a tough time with criticism myself, so...)


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