First Half Rough Cut of Cuttining the Lavender

Hello

This is my short film working on.

It's a rough cut of only half film.

Best

A rough cut is meant to be rough, but at this pacing, it won't tell you if your film's working. You need to make things move about three times faster. Then you'll be able to tell if any acting beat is good, if the story is interesting enough, if any shot is in its right place. Right now any judgment you (or anybody else) may make on the film is compromised by the slack pacing. Also, try to find somebody else to do the temp V-O, somebody who doesn't have such a heavy accent. We can't tell what it's saying.


www.derekmok.com

Hello Derek,

Yes, it needs to go faster. Actually, I finished editing 2 days ago.

It's 3 times faster.


I got a new V-O yesterday too.

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Pictures from the film
[www.flickr.com]
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I've got to go working now. I will write a synopsis and background later.

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Background:

One day, I was praying. Suddenly, I wondered if I should make a demo reel. What kind of fast cuts should I have? Which shots should I put? Then I realized "A long shots are beautiful also."

Then my inspiration blossomed. There's an editor who had to chose cut or no cut, keep it or not keep it.

Max (editor) goes thru subconscious journey. In his dream, he speaks to Sophie but actually Sophie is proxy of his subconsciousness. There will be two encounter with Sophie in final cut. Sophie's face is size of screen and totally dominates Max.(Like the priest face in THX 1138) Location of Max jumps around places which symbolizes his unstablity.

I am an editor who edited 3 short films. Directors have their own minds. They sometimes frustrate me. Basically, Max is me.

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Editing in the film
First parts have a lot of short and jump cuts when Max is in agony.
However, it gets steady, longer and uninterrupted when Max meets his good friend Lenon. (Pacifier, Middleman)

One conversation scene of Lenon and Max has no cut at all. I only filmed one angle without cut. I belive it's Max's moment. He's been struggling. I gave him a long peaceful scene for Max. Max deserved it. (Also, it's my homage to unkown European film I exposed to watch when I was young.)

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I am looking forward to finish it. Edit is done. I am process of putting BG sound, SF sound and music.

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Last thought
I think it will be great!! Woot!!

Ciao!

Story - check

I make a film when I have a good workable script.

Color correction - check

Sound - no good
I did some of noise reduction. Still they are still there.

Music - check
I have a musician who will score for me.

Screening - positive

You're not done with the teaser yet, right? What's up there doesn't really make sense.

The dialogue parts aren't that interesting. I might consider cutting a "silent-film style" version of this. You have a couple of evocative images -- the crushed can, the girl's face projected behind the guy -- start with those and generate a feeling, and choose the music right. I think in this case, they'll do a better job than the dialogue fragments.


www.derekmok.com

Thank you!

i have to agree with derek. what you had before made no sense, what you have now makes way less.

can you tell us a bit more about the film so we'll have an idea of whats supposed to be going on...

Hello Dereck and Wayne,

I think I shouldn't haven called it a teaser.

I realized what teaser is now by watching other people's.

I think I should call it some random clips. (I know I have a skill to make a decent trailer, just I am too busy with other stuffs)

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Story

Max's life gets conflicated when he has to cut Sophie's best line in the film.
Sophie, a female lead actress, starts to come alive in his dream and demands Max to put her line back.

Max wants to put it back but he can't. He's only hired to do editing. He confronts Sophie again.

Max is defeated and seeks out his friend's help.

At the end, Max meets Sophie in real person at the film preview day.

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If it's a teaser, you may want to include a scratch VO to let the audience grasp the concept of the film. Not really sure what's going on, so here's a rough sketch..

VO -> Visuals

"Meet Sophie. Max's best friend." -> Sophie introducing herself as an actress, both of them hanging out, dialogue scenes...

"On the job of his life..." -> him getting the job

"to remove Sophie's best lines from her movie" -> shots of him editing, add a soundbite of the director requesting for a cut...

MONTAGE -> Shots of Max being frustrated, meeting Sophie in his dreams, juxtaposing with the two of them having a good time, etc...

Cut to title shot "Cutting the Lavender"



www.strypesinpost.com

I'll have to disagree with you on this one, Gerard...the concept behind the film is so bare that if you give away the "cutting the line" plot point, you practically have the whole movie given away.

If there is voice-over, I believe it needs to be very vague on this one. Focus on the tone of the film, not the actual plot. The plot is really thin, so sell the tone, not the content. Or, create something new with the teaser. For example, set up an "erotic dream" with the girl, then reveal that the guy is cutting footage of her, not dating her.

Unfortunately film editing is one of the most un-cinematic things I could think of. It'd be nice if you can pull it off, but the premise (cutting a line) sets up very low stakes. It'd be easy for the audience to slam the "So what?" test on you.


www.derekmok.com

"in a world..."

Lol. Yea!!! That was the style i was thinking about...

Hmm... Derek's possibly right. The trailer's not supposed to reveal too much- it's meant to set up and sell the story. Touch and go, really. I was banking on there being a lot more to the dream, and a further underlying plot between the two characters (why the dream, the significance behind the 2 meeting at the preview day). Then sell the surface comprehensively (which is taken straight from act 1). But if that is all, then yea, it's too much. Sell the tone of the film, or create another dimension of the film for the teaser.



www.strypesinpost.com

With normal films I'd probably think the same way as strypes...but short films are different. They tend not to have enough depth of plot and breadth of settings to sustain too much exposition in the trailer. Even with short films I've edited, their trailers tended to be more about tone and rhythm than details. Too much detail makes it seem like the whole film's already there in shorthand, so there's no point in watching the real thing anymore. And the choice of music becomes disproportionately important; because there isn't nearly as much exposition, the music carries more weight in conveying the film's brand identity.

Aside from a "tone collage" like we're talking about, another strategy I've used is to pick soundbites from the first half of the film (the "setup" lines, not the consummating scenes of the film) and then order them in some kind of logic, or to pick one major scene from Act 1/first half of Act 2 as the structural device, then expand slightly outwards from there.

All in all, short films really don't lend themselves to trailers.


www.derekmok.com