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Shanty Town, a teazer
Posted by filmman
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Re: Shanty Town, a teazer September 21, 2006 05:34PM |
This isn't really a trailer, more like an excerpt.
a) Music. What's cheesy '70s garage-metal guitar doing in a film set in the 1800s? Stick to the slide guitar. Even blues music is more of a 20-Century thing, but it evokes much more period flavour. I might suggest looking at some of the gospel and primitive black country music, for example from Harry Smith's Anthology of American Folk Music, or take a look at the film Glory. Choose a few pieces that can fit, then blend them in with the trailer.
b) Good Lord...kill the Ripple Dissolve. Pure camembert cheese.
c) Probably not much you can do about it now, but the costumes don't fit either. My suggestion would be to actually change the setting to something unspecific. With the exception of the woman's costume, the clothes look like Gap/Banana Republic.
d) The acting is far, far better than your previous film, but you're showing too much of it. Heighten the scenes, cut it in more of a trailer style. Don't give us the whole scene.
e) Cut down drastically on the white guy. His acting is poor, looking like he planned every gesture, accent and beat. When he says "So you're the killer", I almost burst out laughing. He comes off as phony, while the black actors by and large do fine.
f) Don't you have any other locations aside from that river bank? The way it is now, you're telling us (erroneously?) the whole feature film's going to take place on that river bank. It's a surefire way to make people think your film is low-budget and boring. If you have other locations, set pieces, scenes and interactions, go there. Trailers should cast a wide, shallow web, suggestion the multiplexities of the film.
g) Why fade to black after the superimposed title? It just drops your pacing to a halt -- the music stops, it feels like you're grinding down and then starting back up.
www.derekmok.com
a) Music. What's cheesy '70s garage-metal guitar doing in a film set in the 1800s? Stick to the slide guitar. Even blues music is more of a 20-Century thing, but it evokes much more period flavour. I might suggest looking at some of the gospel and primitive black country music, for example from Harry Smith's Anthology of American Folk Music, or take a look at the film Glory. Choose a few pieces that can fit, then blend them in with the trailer.
b) Good Lord...kill the Ripple Dissolve. Pure camembert cheese.
c) Probably not much you can do about it now, but the costumes don't fit either. My suggestion would be to actually change the setting to something unspecific. With the exception of the woman's costume, the clothes look like Gap/Banana Republic.
d) The acting is far, far better than your previous film, but you're showing too much of it. Heighten the scenes, cut it in more of a trailer style. Don't give us the whole scene.
e) Cut down drastically on the white guy. His acting is poor, looking like he planned every gesture, accent and beat. When he says "So you're the killer", I almost burst out laughing. He comes off as phony, while the black actors by and large do fine.
f) Don't you have any other locations aside from that river bank? The way it is now, you're telling us (erroneously?) the whole feature film's going to take place on that river bank. It's a surefire way to make people think your film is low-budget and boring. If you have other locations, set pieces, scenes and interactions, go there. Trailers should cast a wide, shallow web, suggestion the multiplexities of the film.
g) Why fade to black after the superimposed title? It just drops your pacing to a halt -- the music stops, it feels like you're grinding down and then starting back up.
www.derekmok.com
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Re: Shanty Town, a teazer September 22, 2006 01:07AM |
> just taking the 1893 off the first shot isn't going to work either. The story wouldn't make
> sense.
But putting your head in the sand and pretending those Gap shirts aren't there won't solve your problem.
I'd suggest doing a Lars Von Trier. Forget the 1800s setting in Georgia. Just make it a non-specific location and time, make it abstract, and make it look intentional.
www.derekmok.com
> sense.
But putting your head in the sand and pretending those Gap shirts aren't there won't solve your problem.
I'd suggest doing a Lars Von Trier. Forget the 1800s setting in Georgia. Just make it a non-specific location and time, make it abstract, and make it look intentional.
www.derekmok.com
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Re: Shanty Town, a teazer September 22, 2006 03:45AM |
> Alternate reality? Okay, tell me more. You mean like Twilight Zone?
Not quite. Just don't try to relate the metaphorical world to the real world. Don't even do the "guy dreams" thing. Think about the themes you're trying to address. Use film techniques -- jarring juxtaposition, music, strange editing styles -- to create a sense of nonreality. Decenter the viewers to discourage them from relating the film to a naturalistic narrative, so that they're subliminally seduced into widening what they're willing to accept. Basically, a new set of rules for this world.
Take a look at:
Lar Von Trier's Manderlay and Dogville
Peter Greenaway's The Baby of Mâcon
Derek Jarman's Edward II
Tom Tykwer's Run Lola Run
Gaspar Noe's I Stand Alone
Christopher Nolan's Memento
The nonrealistic narrative structures and conceits for most ofl these films are not explained except for Memento, where the conceit is part of the main character's mindset. There's no "dreaming guy" -- the strangeness is *part* of the reality. (You could argue the multimedia elements and repeating structure of Run Lola Run is also in Lola's perspective, but that's not set in stone in the film) The films establish their styles early so that the audience is in on it. They are not trying to be something they're not, and they put their strangeness right in your face in the beginning so that you accept and interpret it as part of the film's framework. It's a dramatic theory that goes all the way to Bertolt Brecht and his concept of Verfremdung (alienation), the deliberate use of self-conscious, illogical elements to detach the viewer, as a means of focusing attention on the thematic content rather than the seductive nature of naturalistic, suspended-disbelief narrative.
www.derekmok.com
Not quite. Just don't try to relate the metaphorical world to the real world. Don't even do the "guy dreams" thing. Think about the themes you're trying to address. Use film techniques -- jarring juxtaposition, music, strange editing styles -- to create a sense of nonreality. Decenter the viewers to discourage them from relating the film to a naturalistic narrative, so that they're subliminally seduced into widening what they're willing to accept. Basically, a new set of rules for this world.
Take a look at:
Lar Von Trier's Manderlay and Dogville
Peter Greenaway's The Baby of Mâcon
Derek Jarman's Edward II
Tom Tykwer's Run Lola Run
Gaspar Noe's I Stand Alone
Christopher Nolan's Memento
The nonrealistic narrative structures and conceits for most ofl these films are not explained except for Memento, where the conceit is part of the main character's mindset. There's no "dreaming guy" -- the strangeness is *part* of the reality. (You could argue the multimedia elements and repeating structure of Run Lola Run is also in Lola's perspective, but that's not set in stone in the film) The films establish their styles early so that the audience is in on it. They are not trying to be something they're not, and they put their strangeness right in your face in the beginning so that you accept and interpret it as part of the film's framework. It's a dramatic theory that goes all the way to Bertolt Brecht and his concept of Verfremdung (alienation), the deliberate use of self-conscious, illogical elements to detach the viewer, as a means of focusing attention on the thematic content rather than the seductive nature of naturalistic, suspended-disbelief narrative.
www.derekmok.com
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Re: Shanty Town, a teazer September 22, 2006 10:22AM |
> this was just a promo I did; the movie's not shot yet.
Whoa whoa...you haven't shot the film yet?
That changes things.
First, I'd take a step back. Did you do a director's notebook on the actual film? Talked to a cinematographer?
Then I disagree with Wayne. You should reshoot. In fact, I think you should reshoot most of this trailer.
The riverbank is visually a pretty good location. Comb through your current footage, avoid the modern elements (some of their speech patterns are also very contemporary), and focus on what looks best, forget the dialogue. But chances are you will only have one piece of the riverbank in there, anywhere between five and 15 seconds, *maybe* two pieces. Any more and the location will wear itself out.
Now take the best, most varied scenes in your film and shoot it in a more ambitious way. All three of the pieces you've shown to us have a handheld indie approach. That's okay, but you need to vary your angles. You tend to shoot your actors from exactly the same angles, and when you cut that into your trailer, the weakness shows. Get closer for the emotional scenes, closer than the MCUs you're doing. Widen out and include both characters when appropriate. Block them so they're not just standing around. You almost always shoot your dialogue scenes in singles fairly far off from the line of tension.
Pick scenes that show different emotions, and concentrate on which scenes can make your characters sympathetic. If your trailer shows people we wouldn't be interested in watching, your marketing has already failed.
In other words, you have to do your director's homework.
Most importantly, even if you haven't shot the whole film yet, you have to have the whole film in your head to know what to shoot for a trailer/teaser. For example, when Rob Cohen was shopping around his package for Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story, he shot a teaser -- and did *not* utilize the approach I described above, ie. a standard trailer. Instead, he shot Jason Scott Lee in a well-lit, well-choreographed fight scene which was exciting and kinetic. Using that, Cohen proved to potential financiers that Jason Scott Lee can fight, and that Cohen can direct, and the film will be entertaining. Great strategy. By focusing on one strong scene, he allowed himself to pour all his resources into making a fantastic single scene instead of a bunch of low-budget ones. And the strategy is symbolic of the film he was trying to make, a less conventional biopic that had high-entertainment action elements.
And buy or rent some appropriate costumes. Or, envision the film differently. If you're addressing current or historical issues with contemporary characters, then you can use all the Gap shirts you want. However, I'd still question the wisdom of putting Gap shirts on characters who, judging by their actions in the scenes, don't appear to be all that well off on the social ladder.
www.derekmok.com
Whoa whoa...you haven't shot the film yet?
That changes things.
First, I'd take a step back. Did you do a director's notebook on the actual film? Talked to a cinematographer?
Then I disagree with Wayne. You should reshoot. In fact, I think you should reshoot most of this trailer.
The riverbank is visually a pretty good location. Comb through your current footage, avoid the modern elements (some of their speech patterns are also very contemporary), and focus on what looks best, forget the dialogue. But chances are you will only have one piece of the riverbank in there, anywhere between five and 15 seconds, *maybe* two pieces. Any more and the location will wear itself out.
Now take the best, most varied scenes in your film and shoot it in a more ambitious way. All three of the pieces you've shown to us have a handheld indie approach. That's okay, but you need to vary your angles. You tend to shoot your actors from exactly the same angles, and when you cut that into your trailer, the weakness shows. Get closer for the emotional scenes, closer than the MCUs you're doing. Widen out and include both characters when appropriate. Block them so they're not just standing around. You almost always shoot your dialogue scenes in singles fairly far off from the line of tension.
Pick scenes that show different emotions, and concentrate on which scenes can make your characters sympathetic. If your trailer shows people we wouldn't be interested in watching, your marketing has already failed.
In other words, you have to do your director's homework.
Most importantly, even if you haven't shot the whole film yet, you have to have the whole film in your head to know what to shoot for a trailer/teaser. For example, when Rob Cohen was shopping around his package for Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story, he shot a teaser -- and did *not* utilize the approach I described above, ie. a standard trailer. Instead, he shot Jason Scott Lee in a well-lit, well-choreographed fight scene which was exciting and kinetic. Using that, Cohen proved to potential financiers that Jason Scott Lee can fight, and that Cohen can direct, and the film will be entertaining. Great strategy. By focusing on one strong scene, he allowed himself to pour all his resources into making a fantastic single scene instead of a bunch of low-budget ones. And the strategy is symbolic of the film he was trying to make, a less conventional biopic that had high-entertainment action elements.
And buy or rent some appropriate costumes. Or, envision the film differently. If you're addressing current or historical issues with contemporary characters, then you can use all the Gap shirts you want. However, I'd still question the wisdom of putting Gap shirts on characters who, judging by their actions in the scenes, don't appear to be all that well off on the social ladder.
www.derekmok.com
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