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48 Hour Film Project Philadelphia is done!! (Link to film added)
Posted by PhillyFilmmaker
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Re: 48 Hour Film Project Philadelphia is done!! (Link to film added) March 31, 2007 07:06PM |
My comments:
- Sound mix -- need a much more "solid" voice-over and dialogue. I had to struggle very hard to hear what they're talking about, and it's very distracting.
- Acting is still a substantial problem. Who played the writer? I think overall, you should start approaching your acting more naturalistically. You mentioned before that you're using non-actors. When non-actors try too hard to be funny, they're anything but. Try to get them to play the truth of the characters, not to try to do too many beats (non-actors tend not to be able to do that, unless you're a natural like young Kirsten Dunst or Keisha Castle-Hughes in Whale Rider). The guy playing the "lead agent" in the "story" ("Chase"?) portions did quite well.
- I see major improvements in your camera work. Shooting angles were quite good. I don't feel jarred in terms of coverage and editing. You should feel great about that -- it seems like you've worked hard on improving this aspect, and it shows.
- You need more unity in your visuals. Why blue, then black and white, then colour? I don't see the motivation. I'd pick either the blue tint or the black and white, mix that up with colour. To me, the blue tint could use more texture -- back off the tint a little and add more contrast. Or use a better tinting filter (eg. Nattress instead of the built-in FCP tint).
- The first "Mr. Omara" scene looks like the writer and the Japanese guy are in two completely different locations.
- Next time, think about shooting the writer guy from different patterns from scene to scene. Unless that later scene was supposed to be a continuous scene from the last. But if not, shooting him from the exact same angle gives away the fact that you did it from one camera position. My directing partner and I had the same dilemma when shooting his 24-minute thesis film in 2002, and he put a lot of work into shooting three car scenes with the same two characters, employing a variety of angles, while I paid a lot of attention into creating different patterns in each scene, sacrificing some coverage to create expression and specificity. It really paid off -- the car scenes never looked repetitive; you don't feel the logistics of the shoot.
- Mismatches in contrast in the "hostage" scene at four minutes.
- The content is much more interesting than any of your last efforts -- I sat through six minutes without feeling like I wanted to get up and walk off, different from all the old ones. (The confidence in the shooting helps a great deal as well -- good solid camera and editing help convince the audience you know what you're doing and they should stick around.) However, there still isn't very much narrative structure. I'm not sure how the beginning progresses to the middle. The ending is the best story element of the piece, but how the writer's mood and surroundings affect the story's progression should have been more clear so that the ending would be better set up.
- Good racquet hit on the girl! Doing it in one take makes you feel that "wonk".
You guys are right to think you've made significant progress. You should feel great about it -- keep it up. It's wonderful when you can see the improvements right in front of you. Keep working that writing stage!
www.derekmok.com
- Sound mix -- need a much more "solid" voice-over and dialogue. I had to struggle very hard to hear what they're talking about, and it's very distracting.
- Acting is still a substantial problem. Who played the writer? I think overall, you should start approaching your acting more naturalistically. You mentioned before that you're using non-actors. When non-actors try too hard to be funny, they're anything but. Try to get them to play the truth of the characters, not to try to do too many beats (non-actors tend not to be able to do that, unless you're a natural like young Kirsten Dunst or Keisha Castle-Hughes in Whale Rider). The guy playing the "lead agent" in the "story" ("Chase"?) portions did quite well.
- I see major improvements in your camera work. Shooting angles were quite good. I don't feel jarred in terms of coverage and editing. You should feel great about that -- it seems like you've worked hard on improving this aspect, and it shows.
- You need more unity in your visuals. Why blue, then black and white, then colour? I don't see the motivation. I'd pick either the blue tint or the black and white, mix that up with colour. To me, the blue tint could use more texture -- back off the tint a little and add more contrast. Or use a better tinting filter (eg. Nattress instead of the built-in FCP tint).
- The first "Mr. Omara" scene looks like the writer and the Japanese guy are in two completely different locations.
- Next time, think about shooting the writer guy from different patterns from scene to scene. Unless that later scene was supposed to be a continuous scene from the last. But if not, shooting him from the exact same angle gives away the fact that you did it from one camera position. My directing partner and I had the same dilemma when shooting his 24-minute thesis film in 2002, and he put a lot of work into shooting three car scenes with the same two characters, employing a variety of angles, while I paid a lot of attention into creating different patterns in each scene, sacrificing some coverage to create expression and specificity. It really paid off -- the car scenes never looked repetitive; you don't feel the logistics of the shoot.
- Mismatches in contrast in the "hostage" scene at four minutes.
- The content is much more interesting than any of your last efforts -- I sat through six minutes without feeling like I wanted to get up and walk off, different from all the old ones. (The confidence in the shooting helps a great deal as well -- good solid camera and editing help convince the audience you know what you're doing and they should stick around.) However, there still isn't very much narrative structure. I'm not sure how the beginning progresses to the middle. The ending is the best story element of the piece, but how the writer's mood and surroundings affect the story's progression should have been more clear so that the ending would be better set up.
- Good racquet hit on the girl! Doing it in one take makes you feel that "wonk".
You guys are right to think you've made significant progress. You should feel great about it -- keep it up. It's wonderful when you can see the improvements right in front of you. Keep working that writing stage!
www.derekmok.com
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Re: 48 Hour Film Project Philadelphia is done!! (Link to film added) March 31, 2007 08:55PM |
Good job Tony. I really liked the faked overacting of the people inside the spy story. And I agree with the others, technicals much improved - also, the sets, costumes and locations were really good.
Maybe next time you can convince some 'real' actors to play for you - and give them the key roles. It's a lot easier even for non-actors to act when they play against someone who is believable. The 'real' actor can draw others into the reality of the story. Not that the acting sucked for the type of film that you made - just that it would help to step you guys up to the next level.
Maybe next time you can convince some 'real' actors to play for you - and give them the key roles. It's a lot easier even for non-actors to act when they play against someone who is believable. The 'real' actor can draw others into the reality of the story. Not that the acting sucked for the type of film that you made - just that it would help to step you guys up to the next level.
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