"(in other words, do i have to choose between hearing one track or the other, or can i layer two tracks and hear both at once like in final cut)".
Yes, you would have to choose. Because even if you mapped the music to other audio channels, they will either not come from the proper speakers in a 5.1 system, or be downmixed with the rest of the channels on an a stereo system.
"then, it seems the only naming options for my tracks (in the drop down menu for each track) are different languages. if there any way to customize the naming of these tracks to make it clear that one is music and the other is not?"
I believe you could flag the track as Director's comment by using one of those applications that hack an authored project post-facto (probably DVD AfterEdit?). Not with DVD SP itself. But note that if the commentary also appears as "English" (for example), I believe the viewer will realize it's a different English mix!
"and how would i make a menu button to jump between soundtrack versions?"
Just like you do with audio languages.
If audio stream #1 is music and audio stream #2 is no music, you make an audio submenu with two buttons (or no dedicated menu, but two buttons for that anyway). One button sets audio stream to #1, and the other sets audio stream to #2. Remember to make those buttons target something (at least themselves) besides setting the audio stream.
Obviously, the viewer can switch audio tracks without the need of menu buttons, by using the audio button on the remote control.
Let me know if you need more help.
Adolfo Rozenfeld
Buenos Aires - Argentina
www.adolforozenfeld.com